Posts
Ok guys this post is going to be a bit intense but I feel like I need to know some of these things! I'm just warning you...it's not bad just sensitive!
So me being the goody-two-shoes Mormon that I am, I didn't date until I was 16 then my first date wasn't until July before my 17 birthday(which by the way, my birthday is Aug. 11). I was almost 17. I really struggle with guys. My dad left my mom and I when I was 3 and married another lady with a daughter just a couple years older than me. Once I was finally old enough to understand this, I always felt like a model that wasn't good enough so he traded me in. Well several years have passed and now I understand that it was his loss and he is the one that missed out not me, however, the thought still comes to me all the time, "If my dad didn't love me when I was my cutest then why would any other male love me, for that matter even like me!" I have come to learn over the years that I really am a nice person and fun to be around but that took years to learn. Now that I'm OK in that department, I really would like to actually date somebody! I don't think that a random double date planned in 5 minutes doesn't really count!(especially considering I grew up with the guy and he had a GF) Any how, There is this guy at school and I really like him. I really would like to get to know him better but because I'm so nervous around guys and I'm afraid that guys are utterly repulsed by me then I won't talk to him!! I talked to him for the first time today and he is the one who started the conversation. I got his number last night but I'm really afraid to text him! My Friends say just wait, be patient. But in that time that I wait I just kinda get down, feel like I am utterly repulsive and shouldn't try anymore! It seems now days that everybody has somebody, except me! I really, honestly, in all truthfulness, don't know how to act around guys. If we are talking about cars, sports, or hunting, yeah, I can do that but to even think about talking to a guy that I like scares the heebie-geebies out of me! It absolutely terrifies me! Actually to be honest the idea of talking to this guy makes me feel so bad, I feel like I might just ralf! It is miserable. When I think about a guy liking me, I don't even think that's possible! It's never happened before and it seems like it's one of those things that only happens to other people!
I think my biggest fear is that when I go to college there might be a guy that would like me but since I don't know how to act around guys I would just avoid him and then when confronted I would do what I always do when I talk about this subject and I would cry, making me feel like an even bigger loser! I just don't want the first time that I really date somebody to be when I'm in college and I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing!!
It will all be OK in time, I know but until then, : '(
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Kaitlyn,
ReplyDeleteListen. College is different. Boys don't mind. If you find an RM, he'll be patient with you. It's natural. You'll figure it out. I promise. I have a question though, have you applied for the Heber J. Grant scholarship yet? You would qualify :] I hope you believe me. College is different. Boys, well the RM's are different. Trust me. You'll be just fine.
Kaitlyn,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted you to know that I felt exactly like you when I was in high school. My parents divorced when I was 11. I had two dates in high school and felt pretty pathetic after both. College is different! I had tons of fun in college. I still didn't date much until after my first year of college. But, there are tons of fun activities that make it easier. I don't know if I have any good advice, but I know that I worried way too much! So, I say just be yourself and know that it will get better and easier! Love, Sis. Anderson
Thanks so much you guys! That's exactly how I feel! I really can't wait! Thanks so much. It's great that you guys care so much! I really appreciate your advice, it helps so much!!
ReplyDeleteAutumn I haven't even got my entire application in yet but I am getting my interview with my stake pres. on Sunday and then I mail it in and my money and I'm done! I'm not sure how to apply for that scholarship but I will look into it!
Hey there are more of us who don;t have great experience with MEN (AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Cuddddies!), but the guy that you love and eventually marry will have to be someone you can talk to. You will find him, I promise. Guys feel the same way too. They feel as lost and confused as girls, trust me. Just be patient and wait for the right time and guy (preferable not one with cuddies).
ReplyDelete